Great Moments in Mustaches

The development of aesthetic trends throughout history has proven to be a curious, rather bizarre process. After some careful consideration, one thing becomes increasingly evident: the prominent role of the mustache (and cloaks. Never forget cloaks.).

So, without further ado, this installment of The Hopeless Historian will serve as tribute to some of history’s finest mustaches, the men who sported them, and their greatest achievements—facilitated, of course, by their distinguished nose neighbors.

William Howard Taft

Starting off with a bang, and a big one at that. Checking in at 335 lbs (Sotos, "Taft and Pickwick"), Taft served not only as the 27th President of the United States (1909-13), but also as Chief Justice of the Supreme Court (1921-30). As if his ascension to the top of the Executive & Legislative Branches wasn’t enough on its own, Taft was also the last president to sport a ‘stache—or any form of facial hair, for that matter (I’m looking at you, Obama).

Joshua Chamberlain

Chamberlain was literally a walrus—and a valiant one, at that. Having enlisted in the Union Army with no prior military training in 1862, Chamberlain achieved acclaim the very next year at the Battle of Gettysburg. He led the 20th Maine Regiment’s critical defense of Little Round Top—preserving the union’s left flank against repeated Confederate assaults with nothing to hide behind but his mustache (Simpson, "Joshua Lawrence Chamberlain").

Owen K. Garriott

Twelve long years after Soviet cosmonaut Yuri Gagarin became the first human being to venture into outer space, Owen K. Garriott became the first human being to wear a mustache in outer space. On July 28, 1973, Garriott and two other astronauts began their 59-day flight (Grinter, "Skylab 3"). Termed Skylab 3, the mission was more than twice as long as the previous record holder, and 59 days longer than any previous mustache-clad mission.

Honorable Mention: Leonid Brezhnev’s Eyebrow

Dishonorable Mention: Michael Jordan’s Hitler ‘Stache

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Grinter, Kay. "Skylab 3." Kennedy Space Center. NASA, n.d. Web. <http://www-pao.ksc.nasa.gov/history/skylab/skylab-3.htm>.

Simpson, Brooks D. "Joshua Lawrence Chamberlain." American National Biography Online. Oxford University Press, n.d. Web. <http://www.anb.org/articles/04/04-00218.html?a=1>.

Sotos, John G. "Taft and Pickwick: Sleep Apnea in the White House." CHEST Journal 124.3 (2003):  ChestNet. American College of Chest Physicians. Web. <http://journal.publications.chestnet.org/article.aspx?articleid=1081865>.